The Work

It’s time to take some advice. As an aspiring writer, my goal is simply to get stuff moving around in my brain and get it out there onto the page. There is no shortage of inspiration in this world, so that shouldn’t stop me. What is stopping me is simply my own lack of motivation. The process of being inspired is far, far easier; it’s something different to actually get out and go do something.

Every published writer that I have heard talk about their craft has said something along these lines: if you want to be a writer, the first and foremost goal is to write. A lot. It’s not about coming up with something great right off the bat, basically.

Before I can be great, I have to be. For example, I thought that being an amazing cook would be simple, and that I would never burn something on the stove. It’s almost laughable once you see a sentence like that written down, but it’s the truth. I honestly thought that when I really enjoyed doing something, it’d just come naturally to me, like an extension of myself. The same for writing. Writing, at least, was something that comes a little easier; maybe the point in time where my life finally comes together is when I pick up a pen and simply let the genius flow out. As it turns out, nope, not really the way things go. That, of course, led to the feeling that it was easier for everybody else, and that there was something inherently wrong with me. But, that’s a completely different story. My point is, I learned that if I’m searching for what I’m supposed to become, I haven’t looked very hard because of the work required.

This is the part of my life where I’m finding out that the work makes you into who you are. People have tried to tell me that all along, but I don’t think I really ever believed them. It felt more like a point of view, where you can step back objectively and say, “Yes, I see your point, but you’re not really looking at the whole picture.”

So what is the work required of me at this point in time? Be a good husband, loving my wife every day, especially on the tough days. Love God, and pursue His will for my life, even when it looks like the last thing I would want to do. (A lot of the time, it is.) Love others like I think Jesus would. Make the most out of my time in school and not freak out constantly that I’m in the wrong place, that just because I’m choosing a major does not mean that the walls are closing in around me. That one’s exceptionally difficult.

And write. When I dread the thought of even returning emails, write. When I doubt that I have anything of substance to even offer, write. When self-editor guy up in my head is immediately pointing out my mistakes and the lack of flow or even that the font looks stupid, I will write.

That’s where I’m beginning from today. My challenge to myself - one of the few that I’ve ever really issued - is to write something each day, no matter what. That’s where this experiment comes in. I’m not going to worry about whether or not I’m making progress or becoming more eloquent in my prose. That seems like shooting myself in the foot, and it feels like it, too. (Ever feel that you REALLY TRIED SUPER HARD at something, only to find out that that effort made you completely blow it? The irony that searching for a perfect word makes one fumble over their speech is terrible.) I’m not going to back down from doing The Work. If I fail, then I failed, but I gave it a shot. This is one step away from perfectionism, and a step toward becoming who I’m actually supposed to be.