It has been said that "art does not live in a vacuum," meaning that one cannot just throw oneself headlong into simply 'making art', whatever that looks like... it must be balanced out with other pursuits that will, in turn, inspire and challenge the artist to create more.
My sister Christa and her fiancée James are getting married this weekend, and they had the bachelor/bachelorette parties this past weekend. I have the privilege of being in the wedding, so I was out with the dudes Sunday night. One of James' and my mutual friends in attendance was a guy by the name of Phil Nelson. Phil was the worship leader at my home church when I was in high school, and a couple years back we had a band together where we would perform at youth camps for retreats and the like. Since then, Phil's been the lead guy at the church plant Christa and James attend, so we're in different spheres.
So, Phil and I were out on the deck at Brit's Pub in Minneapolis and Phil wonders when we'd get a chance to play together again, and I consider the same thing.
"To be honest, I haven't really done as much with music as of late," I confess, "what with the getting married thing and school being really crazy." "That's ok," Phil says, in his usual mellow way, "all that stuff is good - it's healthy, if it builds up what you do with your worship leading."
That got to the core of it. For some time, I have been wrestling with a series of changes in my commitments. God remains first on the list, but getting married means that Sarah has shot right up several places to a close second. Then there is the journey that school has brought me on, figuring out who I'm becoming in light of all the new things I'm learning. On top of that, my voice has been giving me trouble recently; definitely not a confidence booster. There are several other factors as well, but those three have been the biggest. These have left me wondering where my calling as a worship leader fits. Was it "just for a season," as is often said , or is there a much bigger purpose? Since I've got a vague idea of the scale difference between God and myself, I'm inclined to believe the latter of those two options. However, I have no real idea what I'm meant to do with it now. Thankfully, I'm not alone in this.
Sarah played tennis all through middle school and high school, and eventually became captain of the team. She would probably have played all through college and would most likely still be coaching at the middle school where she teaches, if it weren't for her wrist getting fairly messed up. That put an end to her aspirations of doing more with tennis. We were talking about this a bit yesterday, on the eve of things getting insanely crazy again during the school year, and God's will came up. Was it God's divine will that my wife's talent for playing tennis be all for naught, leaving her with only a bum wrist, fond memories and a full letter jacket to show for it?
Or, was He about something so much bigger in her life than just her excelling at a sport? By her playing tennis, she learned quite a bit more in other areas of life, as I'm sure other athletes can attest to this fact as well. Her leadership and work ethic are just two of the things she learned that she puts to use every day as a teacher.
When you think about that, it makes a lot of sense. God desires our obedience, no matter what. We have what we think is a clear cut view of how all the pieces of our lives fit together, but we only see things from a very limited plane, and it turns out those pieces are way more multi-dimensional than we had originally thought. When we give those pieces over, particularly the pieces we're particularly fond of keeping protected, things will look quite different than we would like, but ultimately much better off.
The way we evaluate our lives needs to evolve. When big changes come, instead of worrying about 'losing' what we had, we should be led to acknowledge God's sovereignty and that He always has something much better cookin' up.
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